Sorry that I have not been on in awhile. Mothers day was just like previous holidays. H took kids to buy me things, but nothing from him. It was not bad as that was what I was expecting. Kids made the day wonderful. I planned things for me and kids coarse H invited himself along. UGH!
I have been working hard on detaching and GAL (been hanging out with shaggy, velma, fred, daphne..LOL.) Today I feel like I could see to H "I love you, but am not in love with you and I still care." This does not mean that I will feel that later or tomorrow or next week. It is just how I feel now. I am also getting more rest and have better medications.
H has been awful with monstering. H does not monster in front of friends, family or kids. So I have someone here when we are together without kids. I am thinking seriously about divorcing H. If you would have told me that a month ago, I would have said you are freaking nuts. I can't have my kids watching his coldness towards me and the occasional remarks are rude. I think he has always verbally abused me to some extent. I am still standing though. H might beat me to the punch. He keeps threatening he is going to take sole custody - my lawyer said impossible.
H tells me multiple times a day "Once my situation is done, I am divorcing you." Ummmmm - I did not hear you the first million times! Jerk! H still lives in the house and says "I am not moving, and I know my rights you can't kick me out of the house." What a joy to live with this. H has finally moved toothbrush to other bedroom, and is doing his own laundry.
H is very deep into OW. OW has been married FIVE times and is in her own MLC - and has a lot of guys standing for her. Wonder why she is so special? I am thinking H is serious enough to dump me and marry her. He would be in trouble at work for dating her, espicially since he has made a big stink and denied it.
At this point I have not made my final decision. I need to get some things in place before I file, if I file. I could stay married and stand for a million years. But my kids are too young and learning bad habits. The youngest even tells H when he is lying - his face is priceless, but yet he says nothing and does not stop they lying. I am sure H is up to something today - probably filing. H called my FIL - which means something is big up. my FIL called looking for H. FIL is starting to get what is going on - that H is messed up. He does not understand Hs decisions. I did not tell FIL I am thinking of filing, but made it clear this was not right, and I don't know how much more I have in me. FIL told me to file 5 months ago.
Sorry for the late response. I will check more often the site. Hope everyone is well.
