Wife doesn't feel it... (Part 2)

[25yearsmlc]

The musings from a very articulate LBH, when his wife decided that her "real love" was a high school boyfriend she barely dated, after 25 years of marriage, but the "Bf" was also married and living hundreds of miles away, but she could not be convinced that it was only a fantasy....


"We were living like roommates since early November and I moved into my own apt. on Jan 1. I've had a lot of time to think. She's got a few legitimate beefs with me, all the post EA exaggerations of my faults notwithstanding. I can see now that I rarely validated her feelings,

I tried to fix them, and I have since the beginning of our marriage. I knew the EA was fantasy, but I still tried to reason her out of her feelings. When that failed miserably, I was the one who threatened divorce, taking the kids away, etc. to get her to behave. After the EA buzz wore off, I think she just wanted to be heard. I will regret my reaction to all of this forever no matter what happens between us. Understandable to most perhaps, but now I feel like it was beneath me.
**
AND


I am a firm believer in the notion that changing behavior will change the way you feel about something. I vividly remember being a shy introvert, hiding behind long bangs and big glasses, not speaking in class or drawing attention to myself. I remember telling my friends about things I would have liked to have said after the fact, which they always thought were funny. = When I turned 16, I started saying them as they came to me, not holding back what I thought. I was tired of being shy. The more I did it, the easier it became and I changed quickly to what most would describe as an extrovert, life of the party kind of guy. But it didn't start by feeling like that person and I remembered that lesson.
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Any of this ^^ resonate with you?