So I guess now I just continue to move forward knowing that in a month and a half the divorce will be filed. It doesn't scare me as much as it used to now it is sadness and acceptance or possibly surrender to the reality that it is going to happen. On the other side, I am working on my kids and discipling them. My oldest daughter got in my face last Thursday and my oldest son had to physically pull her away from me. She is out of control and has zero respect for me. It was awful and now my mom and sister are taking her side but they don't realize all she has put me through and her brothers. I have decided that she needs to go live with her father in Japan or she is being sent away because I refuse to go through that again and put her brothers through either. I am having a hard time reconciling who she is now to the little girl I used to know.
Me 34 M 2.5 (Both 2nd M) My kids-D 17,S 16,S 12 BD 2/14 D final 7/2014
So I need to really GAL but not really sure what to do and I am just so exhausted that I don't know how or what to do. I want to make new friends as I find that I made my H or STBXH my world. Any suggestions?
Me 34 M 2.5 (Both 2nd M) My kids-D 17,S 16,S 12 BD 2/14 D final 7/2014
I have no advice and I am in the same boat you are. I'm thinking about joining a Meetup.com group to find people that I might have some things in common with. Totally out of my comfort zone.
Question: Is your WAH a drinker? Have a problem with alcohol? If so, you may be codependent (you made your husband your world). Look into al-anon meetings, it's what I plan on doing as well.
Hi Csan. I can only imagine how hard things are for you right now. GAL'ing will help. I too had made my H my world.
I recently signed up for Meetup.com - tones of different groups for making friends, going dancing, book clubs, political discussion groups, mom groups, etc. You name it, you can likely find the group on meetup.com.
Maybe see if there is something like that in your area.
Hope that helps...
M:41 H:38 D:6 D:3 M:11 yrs T:15 yrs Bomb: Feb 8/14 Seperated: Feb 12/14
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." Plato
Hi Thornton, No my STBXH is not a drinker. I just was depressed that I stopped doing for myself and let friendships go. Also thanks for suggesting the meetup.com I will probably try that just to meet new people. Being a single mom is hard to find the time for yourself, however I know that I need to.
Last edited by CSan00; 05/21/1403:34 AM.
Me 34 M 2.5 (Both 2nd M) My kids-D 17,S 16,S 12 BD 2/14 D final 7/2014
Thanks JennD! I hope you are doing well. Yes as you and Thornton suggested, I will probably try meetup.com. I am feeling better since deciding what to do with my D 17. She will be going to a Challenge Academy or to Japan with her dad. Either way, I have let her know that is her only 2 choices and I have also told my mom. I have always hid things from my mom out of fear of disapproval but I am no longer willing to do that. Now I have found the strength to do what I need to do for my kids without caring what my mom or sisters think. This has caused fall out with them but I feel better.
Me 34 M 2.5 (Both 2nd M) My kids-D 17,S 16,S 12 BD 2/14 D final 7/2014
I'm trying to have PMA and believe that things will get better. I still have contact with my STBXH which I think is good but hard for me to imagine we could get back together as a couple almost like too much has happened and feelings hurt for this to occur. I know that I need to just take one day at a time as this is a process that will take a while. I really hope that there is a good reason for all of the challenges in my life. One good thing is that I am starting to be stronger and firmer with my family and kids. Although I have made changes it still is a work in progress to be where I would like to be. Is it wrong for me to act as a friend to my STBXH? I really am trying to retrain my mind to not act as a wife would but as a friend. No wonder old habits die hard. The next 2 weeks will be filled with packing up all of mine and my kids things.. in some ways I am ready to leave the house but not wanting to feel the pain or sadness of letting go of another part of the marriage. Also not thrilled to be living with my mom again but I don't have any other choice until I save up money for an apartment and extra in case of emergencies. I wish I had a better attitude and could always think of this situation as a time for growth and learning
Me 34 M 2.5 (Both 2nd M) My kids-D 17,S 16,S 12 BD 2/14 D final 7/2014
