CSan00 - My story

[CS000]

I'm trying to have PMA and believe that things will get better. I still have contact with my STBXH which I think is good but hard for me to imagine we could get back together as a couple almost like too much has happened and feelings hurt for this to occur. I know that I need to just take one day at a time as this is a process that will take a while. I really hope that there is a good reason for all of the challenges in my life. One good thing is that I am starting to be stronger and firmer with my family and kids. Although I have made changes it still is a work in progress to be where I would like to be. Is it wrong for me to act as a friend to my STBXH? I really am trying to retrain my mind to not act as a wife would but as a friend. No wonder old habits die hard. The next 2 weeks will be filled with packing up all of mine and my kids things.. in some ways I am ready to leave the house but not wanting to feel the pain or sadness of letting go of another part of the marriage. Also not thrilled to be living with my mom again but I don't have any other choice until I save up money for an apartment and extra in case of emergencies. I wish I had a better attitude and could always think of this situation as a time for growth and learning