Wife doesn't feel it... (Part 2)

[25yearsmlc]

Yeah today is just really bad emotionally for me. I keep asking myself why she gets to be happy. She is living her normal happy life and literally just replaced me with this guy.

I don't believe that at all. I think she felt small around you, and she feels needed and attended to, from him. It's often the case the the WAS finds OM/OW who seems "less than" the spouse they left. But to the WAS, it feels good to be the "winner" or the good catch, in the r, instead of feeling as if your partner looks down at you or is always working on "fixing" your many flaws...

Plus, again, you are mind reading. It's not healthy.


Yet I'm sitting here all alone,


Sigh....speaking of co-dependent....this is YOUR comment, & it suggests that 1) SHE is responsible for your loneliness, and 2) that her supposed happiness somehow negates yours.

It is not related to your happiness. IF it were, then every time she has a flat tire, you'll win a new car? If she has a good day at work, you'll get fired? See, it's just silly to connect her CLAIMED happiness with yours.

You are and always have been, responsible for your own happiness. Bring something to the table, other than your needs. Til now, her role was caring for the kids whether you were around or not, and cooking for them and you, (no break for her b/c hey, you earned the money and so you were "THE Provider" and she got no credit for a darn thing...and if this guy needs her like an alcoholic would, but says he loves/needs her, then for now that makes her feel useful and perhaps even adored.

You need to focus only on what YOU CAN DO, which is to start speaking in HER love languages. Have you read the Five Love Languages? She may need some compliments and some acts of service from you. Help her feel your love in her love language, not just more of the same old words.



I have associates, and some friends, but I miss that deep loving connection I though we had. It just doesn't make sense, but I guess it's not supposed to.

This is a marathon, not a sprint. You continue to treat this as if she'll "wake up" in a few days...or weeks. You have not been here more than some weeks.

Look at my time line in my signature. Get more realistic about your timeline and stop predicting things that are simply NOT predictable now. We lack important information.

And btw, the comments about your MIL's home disturb me. My gut says you are too biased to be fair/accurate.

But If your w did the housework in your home, and you said she did, then she'll clean up there, or it's not as bad as you make it.

Did you ever visit MIL with your kids before? I'm betting you did, so you cannot say that NOW it's "too dirty" for your kids, when it was fine to take them there before, b/c she was not with OM.

Don't let your wounded ego color your vision too much. And stay focussed on the one person you do control, you.

How's YOUR personal work going? I read what you want to be like, but how are you getting there? And your GAL?

BTW, I think you did the right thing by filing for temporary custody orders. But now step back, and become a man only a fool would leave.