Wife doesn't feel it... (Part 2)

[25yearsmlc]

So if my wife completely moves in with this guy is there really a chance of her wanting to make things work if she's a codependent person?

Of course there is a chance. Co-dependent (which you may also be, btw) does not mean you are insane or blind. His conduct will contrast sharply with yours, won't it? No mother enjoys seeing her children put at risk, so if she is not blind, she'll protect them.

I have to wonder a few things. First, I make these comments operating on the assumption that your facts are accurate

BUT YOU you said at one point, you did NOT know if your kids are exposed to the allegedly druggie boyfriend. So let's stop saying that it is happening if you don't know it's happening. Are they at her parents when she's with OM, or what?

Secondly, moving in with him is a lot different than spending the night there. If she spends time with him and you somehow do not compare well, that's a problem.

But don't blame her co-dependence for that, let alone so fast, for a few reasons. First, it keeps you focussed on HER CHOICES (or what you imagine them being) instead of your own. You have no control over her choices and your mind reading does not seem helpful at all, besides being inaccurate it's just time consuming.

What should you be doing instead?

Stay in your sandbox and work on yourself.

Stop staring at her and mind reading and negatively projecting.

You have work to do in your own sandbox. How is that going? And what are your 180s and GAL? 'I want to hear more about that.