I am coming from the divorce/custody angle, not the relationship angle, but I think you need to get moving and start asserting your rights immediately. 9/10ths of the time, custody is ordered as a continuation of the status quo. Right now you are letting her dictate the status quo. She has every right to go and take the kids to another state, live with her mom or her druggy boyfriend. You have every right to go get them and bring them home. And if you are unwilling or too afraid to do this, then you need to go ahead and file and get a custody order. She left you, took your kids and is living with and exposing your kids to a drug addict. I dont think you need to worry about her feelings about the relationship right now, because right now I dont think she is thinking about anyone's feelings but her own.
