Oxford, I skimmed your posts. It sounds like you want someone here to determine what your boundaries should be. That's your job. For some, an A is a deal breaker. Others will turn a blind eye to infidelity and stay in a thankless and abusive marriage no matter what. For many, they are willing to work things out provided their spouse returns to the R and agrees to improve the M into what it should have been in the first place. Where on the scale do you fall?
It sounds like you are all over the place- you must get a hold of your emotions. Once you are calm and in touch with yourself, I think you'll know what to do. Asking for advice regarding a current course is one thing, but you seem to ask people on the board what "you should do" constantly. It's not our M- how do we know what you should do?
Not trying to attack you, just think you need to calm down and put your thoughts together.
