Wife doesn't feel it... (Part 2)

[Corbean]

The thing is I am completely fine with letting God handle her and work in her, my goal isn't reconciliation, for my marriage I have patience and I am ok with this taking as long as it needs. However, what I not ok with is my children's living conditions and the care they are receiving, or in my daughter's case not receiving. As long as my children are in the local area where I can be in their every day lives and can have my equal share of time with them I am fine with her doing whatever she wants for herself. I am not ok, being a part time dad every other weekend. This is a right that I have that I will enforce. I am not attempting to force her into reconciliation, I am simply doing it to be the father my children need.

As I stated above, my hobbies typically took my time away from her, not the kids. I was just a passive dad that didn't take as active a role as I should have.

I agree completely about your assesment of how she is probably feeling and how I made her feel. I think you actually hit the nail on the head, and I learned a lot about myself through this time so far and am commited to true change. Not change for her, but for myself to be someone I am happy with, and for my children so they have the father they deserve.

I outlined above what I'm doing to make things different now. As I said before she had no clue I was still looking at porn, but I am honestly making strides to change into a better man for myself.

It does make sense and I hope that I have given you enough details to have a more clear picture of our situation. I am commited to true core change in myself, and to step up and being a great dad, not just "better than my dad" which is the approach I took. I understand now that just because she was a sahm that doesn't mean she is solely responsible for task related to the kids. I understand now that making my wife my priority should trump and every hobby or activity that I want to do.

It's sad that it took getting to this point for me to have the wake up call I needed, but it's something that I am not going to take lightly. I am simply going to be patient with her and let her take whatever journey she is on and leave that be. I won't stand by and watch my kids be torn apart by this though and live in substandard conditions.

Thanks again for your bluntness and I await your reply.