Have I any hope...?

[bashy]

Fair point 25. Well, I've upped my time at the gym to an extra day a week (four days now), I'm out every Sat/alternative Sunday with friends for a few drinks (which is a miracle considering when I was with W I NEVER went out) and I have taken up snooker for the first time since I was a teenager. I go once a week with my dad. I've also been going to the library one day a week to read more... god how I've missed reading.

Okay that^^ is good stuff. For ME, GAL mandates some activities that involve OTHER NEW PEOPLE, not so much the bar scene, and Learning or Doing something NEW...

Here....For GAL suggestions, let me mention some of what I did when we lived in the interior of Alaska, even in the winter. And I had 3 kids, including a baby (so you know I don't want to hear about how 'busy' you are, or 'too busy' to GAL).

Inertia is the greatest enemy to GAL & played a role in your sitch, I think. Overcome that, & you'll be well on your way to a happier more fulfilling life. IMO, the more you overcome inertia, the better your R's will be with all people, including your w. Okay, so...

I volunteered at a battered women's shelter.

I coached a girl's softball team, two summers (my older D was on it).
I was on the board of directors for Wrestling, (b/c our son wrestled).

I auditioned for community theater. I met some NEW fun creative people. I got cast, too. What a blast, b/c rehearsing/performing totally occupies your mind.

I did stand up comedy (and yes, I still do it). I did a whole set once on a MLCs at the Hollywood Improv. It went very well.

I learned to cross country ski, became a better shooter.
I Learned to hunt big game, to deep sea fish, & I got better at downhill skiing.

I learned to use a snowmobile ("snow machine" to Alaskans)
I loved riding.
I learned to fly a plane, and I got a pilot's license.
Edited a book. (The book ended up on the Best Seller's List. Who knew?)

I Worked out 3-4 times a week, and I really did get in excellent shape.

Looking good made a world of difference to me. (Plus I'd just had our last child and needed to lose the baby weight. It was not easy to do, let alone in the dark, deathly of their long LONG cold winters).

In the winter, I used a tanning booth, which helped me a lot with depression. I felt more energized, and it probably helped my appearance, which also helps us FEEL better.

Saw a therapist and for some months, went on ADs.

Took a pottery class (very odd for me to do, but I liked it a lot).

Joined the Officer's Wives club, after 15 years of ignoring it while on active duty. (Wish I had joined sooner! Met two women who are life long friends to this day.)

Joined a writer's group
Took a class in Conversational French
Took a class in Italian cooking

There is more, but I just wanted to suggest to you a few things you can do that do not cost a lot. Other than pilot training, most of these ^^ activities were free, or quite cheap.

I'm sure you can think of some things you would like to at least try. Meeting people who do not know your situation is very helpful to stop the obsessing about her.

I was actually thinking of her less in recent times until I noticed a change in her contacting me. I suppose I need to up my game in regard to GAL.