Wife doesn't feel it... (Part 2)

[25yearsmlc]

And honestly let me tell you the moral dilemma I'm having.

At what point does DB'ing take priority over my children? To me they are more important at this point.

It's not a contest between the two. Having children is a huge reason FOR DBing... they are not exclusive of each other. What is stopping you from doing what is best for your kids? Isn't a reconciliation the best thing?

OR.... What? What is the moral dilemma to which you refer?

Currently, they are sleeping in play pens, my daughter isn't receiving care or therapy, my wife is staying at her boyfriends house almost every night and leaving the kids at her mom's house.

What are YOU doing about your kids care? Not what you are saying, but what are you doing, for them?


Unless she has moved them to his house which I don't know. They are spending 80% of their time around this guy per my wife's admission and she doesn't see an issue with it, her sister confirmed that he smokes pot, smokes cigarettes, and drinks so much that my wife wants him to go to AA. The house they are staying at, if her mom's house, is very old and not very clean.

is this all what your SIL is telling you or that you "know"? And if you believe he is a danger to your kids welfare, then DO something about it. Start by talking to your w about their welfare without making your w "wrong", and see if you two can agree on some changes....or boundaries.

And if she cannot or will not, then do what needs to be done.


To me, ensuring they have a stable healthy living environment and that my daughter is getting her medical care takes priority to me over walking on eggshells for my wife in hopes of winning her back.

False choice, imo. You being the best father and man you can be, is the best thing for your daughter AND your marriage. You may only help one of those, but you still have the same course of action.

What exactly is your dilemma? What would you DO differently? What specifically, is stopping you?



I think my only hope for ever getting her back now is that after all the rage subsides, she admires me for being a stand up father and wanting to take responsibility for my children.

Take responsibility for your kids b/c they ARE your responsibility. NO more talking about it or 'wanting' to take responsibility for it. Do it. Show up. Be there.
What does the idea of PA/EA with OM have to do with your concerns about your kids? I mean, if he were a "great guy", would that change anything?
If so, what?


Because I want to be involved in a major part of their lives, not just a minor role.

It's your job to be a major part of their lives. It's not a grand or heroic trait, it's just a reality. So what or who is stopping you from being a major part of their lives?