But you are using them, Corbean. You used them as your connection to contact her. You are using them to control her. You can say it's all about them.....yada, yada. But it seems pretty clear what is happening here.

You admit in your first post that you always put other things before her and the kids. Plus, this is the second time she's left you. The first time was b/c of your porn use, which you didn't stop until after she left this time. After this second time, you stopped porn and started church. Which is great.....if it is not used as a gimmick to get her back. You are still in that mode of "if this doesn't work, then I'll try that".

I don't blame you for wanting to protect your kids. I told you upfront to protect yourself & the kids. However, the more you post, the more I am getting a bad feeling about this. You are preaching to her, and using the kids as your bible. You are cramming it down her throat. You want to control, punish and guilt her. That's not the way to operate.

Make very sure of your lawyer's instructions. I know I said I wouldn't give her a head's up about your intentions, but to get the kids for a weekend visit...and not return them....and "then" tell her, "Oh btw, the reason the kids haven't gone back home is b/c we are legally S and I have custody of them" seems kind of underhanded to me. Why did your lawyer tell you to handle it this way?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!