I have been keeping busy, trying not to obsess one way or the other (not always successful with that but better!)

I worked Friday, played softball, went out with the team after, dinner with friends and D12 and a minor league baseball game on Saturday and Sunday worked in the yard with D12. Have definitely been more productive lately...of course not having a computer helps with productivity!

In other news H sent me a text at 1am Sat (930am his time). This is where the obsessing is hard to control.

He texted me to send a check to somebody with their address (somebody from where we are going on vacay). Then said "that will be all." (pretty typical for him...he thinks it's funny! smile

I responded, "I don't get to know what you bought?" (I already knew because the guy posted what he was selling on FB)

He told me what it was (a canoe with a trolling motor and fish finder) and I simply replied FUN! He replied "for fishing only" and some more info. To which I simply replied HAHAHA. He told me he also ordered something else, and I let him know our renter already has one and he said "well, we have one for the garage then." Few more informational exchanges and I did not drag it out. smile

So of course here's where the obsessing comes in...he bought a canoe! And he said WE!! so I spent quite a bit of time trying to decipher the meaning of these things! LOL!! Now a canoe is not necessarily his thing, but I've been wanting a couple of kayaks. But it does have a motor! he's also a total impulse buyer...bottom line STOP OBSESSING!!

Overall I think it's a positive, but obsessing about something gets me nowhere!

Fast forward 2 days later: I sent him a text letting him know the check was in the mail and I was also writing a check out of "his" account for D12's travel ball. He barely responded, just asked "how much" I told him and he didn't reply again! So just proves my point that obsessing about what he's thinking is a waste!!

This does get easier but there are times my emotions get the best of me. Today I was cleaning the garage, and I was having a hard time not thinking about him, the garage is his area! I had to change the radio station a few times because love songs make me sad still. But, while I was cleaning the garage I was kicking myself...why didn't I do some of this stuff before he decided he wanted a D?!?! I know I can't change the past, but I still get mad at myself for not doing things that now I realize would have showed him that I do care about him.

Hindsight is 20/20.


Me-44 (45)
H- 50 (51)
M-'96

S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)

BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas)
home Oct(sep rooms)
(EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed)
insists wants D through July 2015
no more talk of D since