I'm new at this as well so take my advice with a grain of salt.
I think before your WAH comes back, he's going to need to respect you.
Do you want to leave the house so he can stay there with the kids? If not, then don't! Show him that this was HIS decision. And HE will need to make arrangements if he wants to see the kids.
Making it easy for him might make him think you are a doormat. Would you want to be in a relationship with a doormat? No. Neither does he.
I'm not saying be mean or aggressive. Simply tell him you won't be leaving the house in a calm manner. He might spew anger over this but don't let him get a reaction from you. You are going to have to get it in his head, that you can and will live happily without him. Easier said than done, as I'm in the same boat you are.
