Guilt and shame play a huge role in MLC, as well as depression. He is very much aware that what he's doing isn't right and he doesn't want to be reminded of it. Keep in mind, he's about 16-18 yrs. old and doesn't want to talk about the ow to you (mom figure). In his mind, what he's doing is his own personal business and doesn't need to share it w/you or anyone else. They like to keep the op a secret for as long as possible. Now that you know, the fantasy and the thrill of keeping the secret are gone.
As for the OW's husband being aware of the situation, well, both of them aren't too happy to know that it's out and your h is angry that you told the husband. Again, that's what happens when affairs are exposed.
As for the truck issue, that's not your fault. It's something that just happened and him getting bent out of shape is very typical of MLCers. They have a very, very short fuse and don't like to have anything ruffle their feathers. I can still remember my xh getting angry at a woman making a left turn in a parking lot on a very hot day and him calling me to tell me about it. He was furious. In their minds, life has to be simple w/no issues arising.
MLCers are very nosy when it comes to us, i.e., what we are doing, where we are, etc. It's part of the "control" package and when they sense that we are moving forward/on, they tend to try to reel us back in. They want us to be right where they left us when the crisis began. Unfortunately, life doesn't happen that way.
So, for today, keep the focus on you and your family. Always remember, it's all about him and his emotional state. You didn't break him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
