Yesterday seemed to be a little better that it has been over the last couple weeks. He helped me a little with some yardwork and he asked me to help him out as well. I made sure I let him know that I appreciated what he did honestly. Last night we had a long talk. We talked more opening than we have in years! He told me that he felt lost, he felt that we were not sole mates, no connection, that he has had this feeling for a long time. Honestly, I didn't realize that he even had feelings. he also said that he noticed a difference in me in the last 4 weeks!! He said that I was happier and something to the effect if everythign was like it was the last 4 weeks, we might not be in this situation. But I let him know that I understood, that I felt the same way. I tried to let him know that I have been looking at my behavior and trying to learn what it takes to build a good marriage, and what we need to do to fix it. He thinks that the problem is 'us'. That we should naturally be able to communicate, naturally be able to connect. He doesnt understand that this is a learning process and that you have to work on a marriage to get it to work. He felt bad that he was hurting me. He didnt think I would get hurt (what??). I asked him again to consider giving this another chance. Just think about it. I thanked him for opening up and appreciated the conversation. I believe I have him thinking?? he is just so hard headed and would imagine that changing his mind after saying that his mind is made up would be rather hard. I am reading some more books on how to work on reconnecting with your spouse. I think this sole mate stuff is for the birds. Does anyone have any opinions or suggestions about this?
Me 56/H 55 M 13 Bomb 3/14 Still living in the house - in our bedroom - diff beds.
