Changing Times

[MamaB]

Yesterday H took little D's tp D10's soccer lunch. I met them there and we all had fun with other team parents. We just had tryouts for their first year in select soccer and most of the girls will be on the same team next year. Lots of talk about what to expect from this next step.

H and were comfortable, and again, H was like old H of over a year ago. After the lunch H and I sat on the patio. We talked about the kids and H said he wants us to go to MC. I told him how hurt I have been and asked some questions about affair. The ow is married and H said he really did believe that I would move to Denver and we would each have op and we woud all be happier. He said it was like looking at life through different eyes and just recently he is able to see clearly and is still trying to figure it out himself. He did say that he felt entitled as well as neglected by me. I did own up to the issues that I felt I contributed (lack of affection, attention, etc...) I told him I was sorry for my part in m and that I will not make those mistakes in next R.

He has told me repeatedly how sorry he is for everything and to let him kniw about mc. It would be pretty hard as he now lives in Denver. He says he would try to get down every other weekend. Healso said about looking at something in a city about an hour away from where i live. So who knows.

I feel that I'm starting to forgive him, but I just don't know if I can get past everything. My D17 still won't talk to him and is not too happy that I am. That is hard, she was more comfortable when I was NC. I was too in some ways. Nowthat the a is over, I don't want to be the consolation prize. This does showme that the fog is real, at least that is how he is discribing it all.