You have to do what you feel is best. But if you decide to S, I think you need to have everything secure before telling her. It's not to be mean, but for your protection. She may take it well, since you are giving her the home and half of everything, but you never can tell how a WAW will react to not getting 100% of what they feel they are ENTITLED to have......especially the kids. Since she seem determined you would not share son 50/50, she may decide to fight it. So, let her bring it on. But I would not give her a heads-up.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
