Also the fact that she took the kids 5 hours away and stayed so that I only get to see my children every other week when the original plan was for her to go for 2 weeks and then come home so we could figure everything out plays into it too. I miss my children.
Me-33,W-26 M-4 yrs, T-5 years S- 2 D- 4 (Special needs, undiagnosed) Apr 2014 B date End of April 2014 Moved in with parent's
Also the fact that she took the kids 5 hours away and stayed so that I only get to see my children every other week when the original plan was for her to go for 2 weeks and then come home so we could figure everything out plays into it too. I miss my children.
The longer that she has, to become entrenched with the current Status Quo, the harder it will be for you to see them ....
I like the plan of a separation agreement with temporary custody and support rules in consideration....
It's not black or white, just somewhere in the middle...
Now I'm feeling conflicted again. I want to ensure my children are well cared for and are getting what they need, but I wonder exactly how much of it is me feeling like I need to control her. I view it as me stepping up as a father when I see my children not being taken care of properly, but I just want to make a decision I have peace with and the doubts are there.
Me-33,W-26 M-4 yrs, T-5 years S- 2 D- 4 (Special needs, undiagnosed) Apr 2014 B date End of April 2014 Moved in with parent's
Well my lawyer told me that it was actually illegal for her to keep the kids out of state and that makes me feel better about what I'm doing.
Here's how I view it, I want to be in my children's lives. I want to raise them the way they deserve to be raised and provide for them. I want to make my marriage work and my family be successful. If she doesn't want to be a part of this marriage it will have to be her decision to not be a part of it. I'm going to do what's best for my children and myself.
I can't just take a passive role in this and watch as my children are torn away from me and taken 5 hours away while I want to still be the father they deserve. I don't know I understand what she's going through and I am trying to maintain hope for our M one day, but right now all I can do is make sure my children are getting what they deserve.
Me-33,W-26 M-4 yrs, T-5 years S- 2 D- 4 (Special needs, undiagnosed) Apr 2014 B date End of April 2014 Moved in with parent's
So my W just called and it was a bit of a conversation. First she said that she was trying to get care set up in the area, and asked if I could get their medical records. I didn't tell her what I plan to do today. That was hard.
Secondly, I asked what her plans were for getting a job, and apartment, and a car since that was originally our agreed upon plan. And she said, well you know I'm a procrastinator so I'll do it when I do it. I told her that I was concerned for the kids and wanted to make sure their well being was our top priority. I stated that it wasn't about me and her it was about their well being, and she said well we have a free place to stay so it's fine.
I'm not willing to accept that. They deserve more than that and I will provide it for them even if it enrages her. I can just see the path this is going, because she was getting super angry at me just asking about those small things. I tried to remain calm, but my heart rate did increase.
She also stated that she wanted a divorce for the first time. So I asked her the status of it, and she said, "I don't know it's not like I've ever been divorced before." I probably went too far when I said that she should be focused on getting her life in order instead of jumping into a full blown relationship with another man not even 3 weeks after we seperated. I don't know though, this is very rough for me. I don't want to give up hope, but she can be so mean.
Me-33,W-26 M-4 yrs, T-5 years S- 2 D- 4 (Special needs, undiagnosed) Apr 2014 B date End of April 2014 Moved in with parent's
She also stated that she wanted a divorce for the first time. So I asked her the status of it, and she said, "I don't know it's not like I've ever been divorced before." I probably went too far when I said that she should be focused on getting her life in order instead of jumping into a full blown relationship with another man not even 3 weeks after we seperated. I don't know though, this is very rough for me. I don't want to give up hope, but she can be so mean.
Yea....
You might wanna leave that one out of the playbook in the future....
Along with a lot of the other stuff too...
The job, the place to live, a car....
What would you think, if somebody was on your back about that kind of stuff ???
And enough of the guilt too...
She is feeling enough judgement around her already...
And yes, she is going to be mean...
She has a LOT of anger inside of her, that HAS to come out before she has any chance at figuring things out....
Let that anger come out to somebody else, instead of you...
Stop asking questions, that you don't want the answer to...
Very good points, but the lawyer told me that we will be filing today, and to not give the kids back after this weekend and tell her I filed for seperation and that she will be served on Tues. I just see this becoming a poop storm.
Me-33,W-26 M-4 yrs, T-5 years S- 2 D- 4 (Special needs, undiagnosed) Apr 2014 B date End of April 2014 Moved in with parent's
