Corbean, I understand how this feels. I've been bouncing back and forth for weeks now on whether to file or not. But its not about your W changing her mind and you can't focus on that. If you are at risk of loosing rights to your kids or you have concerns over what kind of conditions your kids are being exposed to, you have to consider that first. She will likely be mad, but you can't mind read or predict the future. You make decisions for yourself and kids now and leave her to deal with her own sh*t.
I myself have finally come to the conclusion that paperwork will have to be drawn up for boundaries at this point for me. It doesn't mean I've given up. I hear you say quite often that you realize that the current M is dead and you have to accept it. I know its harder done than said, but if you can admit it then you tell me what is honestly the best decision here for you not thinking about future of your M?
M: 43 W: 43 Married 6 yrs. T: 7 yrs. Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10