Thanks cat. I'll go back and look at my posts objectively. I agree with you about it being her decision. My D has told me many times that she doesn't want to go but my W is trying hard to get her to change her mind. Last night her father and her took my D out to dinner. While there (without me) they told my D that if she goes he'll pay her a couple thousand $, for doing just a little work like doing dishes. My W even tried telling my D that if she goes, maybe he'll pay for her to go to private school! That is a lie and my wife even admitted that he would never do that but, if it gets her to go that's no big deal. So now that my D has made it clear that she doesn't want to go, she will bribe and lie to her to get her to change her mind. When I told her it was wrong to do that she said her dad "made" her spend time with him when she was a teenager and she ended up glad he did.
I'm sure there is no legal way to send her over my objections but it will make coming to the best terms possible in a D so much harder if I have to get a L involved to stop it. I'm trying to think unemotionally and I still don't think it's right to send her and bribe and lie to her to get her to change her mind.
Until her dad got involved in this we hardly augured about things like this. Neither of us wants to keep the other away from our D. We both wanted what was best for both of them. Now just because I don't want to encourage my D to go spend time with him I'm horrible and we're fighting. A week before he got here my W said she had no hurry to get a D, now she does. The only change.... Dad came to town.
As of now my D hasn't changed her mind about going but she has told me she really needs to make money since her mom won't help pay for private school. As of yet I haven't said anything to her about it, just asked what she was thinking.
It's a sore subject with my W. She can't seem to think stright where he is involved. His interference may make having a good relationship with my W post D impossible.
