Stuck between a rock and a hard place!

[dorightman]

Even though we have a legal support and child custody agreement, some lose ends have not been dealt with. Iam still paying for W's cell phone, car insurance, and piano lessons for the kids that W agreed to pay have of, but never has.
A week ago the support taken out of my check was significantly lower then usual and we thought it was a mistake, so I wrote her a check for the difference.. Then I found out it wasn't a mistake.

Basically, W owes me a lot of money and she says she can't afford to pay me back. See just got off the phone and she's accusing me of punishing her with money, an old issue from the past, as she always said that I use money to control her and micromanage her.

When she hit me with the B, I freaked out and only left her enough money in the bank for food, but I still payed all the bills. She then withdrew all the money in her IRA account, money that I invested for her. It was ALOT of money.
Money is a huge issue between us, we come from different backgrounds and she is entitled. She doesn't believe in living within your means. Iam the opposite.

When we signed the support order, she was entitled to $20000 for arrears. She wrote it off and didn't make me pay her that out of kindness she says.

Now, anytime I try to hold her accountable for bills I pay above CS, she rubs it in my nose and says she shouldn't have been so nice.
After I asked her to pay me back for these bills and change the accounts to her name, she said she needs to sell the house to afford these bills. I told her we can't sell the house until next year when I have time and money to make it happen.

She says I'm punishing her w money like I always did. When I say that she needs to take responsibility for her actions, that I care for her and want to take care of her, but she chose this and now she needs to take responsibility , she says when I asked you to work on the marriage, you didn't and how it's too late. It's your fault!

It's all so immature.

I don't know how to get her to be responsible for our situation in anyway.

Every time there's an issue, it's like this deep hole we can't get out of.

I need advice!