Stuck between a rock and a hard place!

[dorightman]

Update, a lot of time has passed..... W and kids live 5 minutes away from me in their new apt. Support and custody order was finalized 4 months ago, only thing left for us to get a divorce is the property settlement.
I live in our house and neither of us has had the time to get the house together for sale. My job will be taking me out of town for the next year, so I doubt that we will be able to get the house on the market until next spring.
W and kids have settled into their new apt and are happy there. Iam supposed to have the kids every 2nd weekend and every Tuesday night, but because I work at night sometimes on the weekend, we have to be flexible and have been for the most part, but w is angry that Iam not able to take the kids on my weekends very often.
W works a lot and many mornings calls me to come over to her house to help get the kids to school. I pick them up after school and do their homework with them at W's apt. Then she gets home from work and I leave.
Some nights We put the kids to bed together and then I leave.

I have had a hard time co-parenting together like this because when I see my W, I want to hold her and she wants me to leave.

I vacillate between trying to keep my DBing together and occasionally breaking the rules and asking her to work on the M. She is struggling with upholding her boundaries with me.

Her story of the past keeps coming up, it seems that she doesn't see my changes no matter that I tell her that I've been working on myself for the past few years and that I'm not the same man that she talks about from the past.

She may be having an emotional/physical affair with a coworker?

I know that I need to keep detaching from her, my struggle is that I still love her and want to save our marriage. She doesn't value the traditional family, and thinks that her happiness will come from a new relationship. She doesn't want to do the work. She puts up walls anytime I start R talk. When I tell her that her feelings won't change unless she does the work w me, she has to get off the phone. It's very frustrating and disheartening for me.

I know that I have to leave her alone, but I keep failing because I want to work through the problems and she doesn't.
I know that I need to have more boundaries,but I have trouble balancing boundaries with wanting to be with my kids.

This has been going on now for so long and I go back and forth feeling that it's over and I need to move on, or feeling like I want to save my M. I want love and I'm not getting it!

Emotionally Iam doing a little better. Time is doing its part, I still have a cry every few days in the morning, but then I get on with my day.

That's all for now, thanks and enjoy our beautiful spring!