WAW Said She's Done- pt.5

[adinva]

I think she deserved a response about the shorts, such as,

***
sorry that I was not available the other day. I would prefer to keep the swim shorts at my house so that both of our houses have swim shorts that he likes. I hope you had fun at BG.
***

Your emotions are getting in the way of your choices about how to handle her text temper tantrums. Deep breath, neutral state of mind, here is my take:
- when she wants an answer and doesn't hear back, she gets wound up and fires a bunch more texts. That is not your problem and does not need to wind you up. Write back when it makes sense, and not when it doesn't. When you were on the boat it was impossible.
- when she asks something logistical about your son, you should respond as soon as possible with your answer. That is just etiquette.
- Your answer does not necessarily need to be the one she wants. You are perfectly fine saying no about the shorts but you should have said it as soon as possible, not passively by not responding.
- You should not respond at all to any of the other stuff about how she's mad that you didn't respond, and what if something happened, and whatever other. You don't need to defend not-being-available. You're not going to get her to agree with you anyway, just let it all go.
- You were definitely not available on the boat, fair enough. But having fun with your friends was not higher on the priority list than your X and son stressing about what he was going to wear to Busch Gardens. Right there you let your fear that she was going to spoil your good mood (which is YOUR choice if it happens), get in the way of giving your son an answer he was waiting for. I get it, that you expected your answer to turn into an argument, but it only becomes one if you join in. You can send an answer and refuse to argue about it.

Class honor and dignity are the best way to handle all these painful situations that come up. Don't let fear and antagonism get in the way of that, K?