So, I found out a lot about my wife last night. Apparently she has been going out drinking every single night, leaving the kids with her parents and sister, she's letting this guy come around our kids and maybe even taking them to his house. This guy she's with smokes, drinks, is a pot head. I mean I know this isn't my wife, but this all seems super excessive. She hasn't made any moves to find a job, car, or apartment.
I'm meeting with a lawyer tomorrow to try and file for temporary custody of the kids until she gets established, and to get a restraining order on him being around the children. I'm sure that's going to piss her off to no end, but I have to do what's best for the children.
I'm not sure how to handle this from a DB persepective though, I'm working really hard on myself and I'm making great progress, but I'm afraid she's going off the deep end and past the point of no return. I want to help her so bad, but nothing I can do will help her. Is it really just a matter of working on myself and waiting on her to hit rock bottom and just hope that I'm the one she wants when it's all said and done?
Feeling rough about it.
Me-33,W-26 M-4 yrs, T-5 years S- 2 D- 4 (Special needs, undiagnosed) Apr 2014 B date End of April 2014 Moved in with parent's
Yes, its really just a matter of sitting back and not paying attention to what she is doing while working on you. I mean, seeing the lawyer to establish custody for those reasons may piss her off but its not about hurting her, it hopefully is all about the kids. Careful though about how you are finding this information out. I worry that you are still snooping.
Some things you do will tend to piss off W, but thats why you have to be honest with yourself about reasons you do things. Things you decide need to be about you and the kids. And you can't run around scared of how that will change her attitude toward you. I've heard Starsky say it several times. Things we do may piss them off today but they could be proud of us for it tomorrow.
M: 43 W: 43 Married 6 yrs. T: 7 yrs. Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10
