Just got off the phone with him. Had had a fit during the first try and hung up on him. Texted him after I calmed down that I wanted to try again and hear him better. Heard about his week, told him about mine; very tentatively we talked about our issues. Both of us choosing our words very carefully. He made a point of telling me that my friendship was really really important to him, and that he was aware that he had hurt me so much that it was hard for him to be even around me at all, couldn't even take friendship with me when he was hurting me so much.
Tried to claim OW is "a friend" but when pressed admitted that "it's complicated."
Agreed to put relationship efforts on back burner for now until the friendship was on a better footing.
I know I'm not supposed to believe anything he says, but I also know that (other than OW, who barely knows him) that he doesn't have hardly any really close friendships than mine. So valuing the friendship is a big deal, right? Or I should just quit finding strings to hang on to. (Which I know I should; even if we do somehow recover it will take a VERY LONG TIME.)
BklynMom, thanks for your words -- part of our conversation was that I need to be able to spend some money to get the kids enrolled in camps this summer because I need to not have them climbing the walls while I try to get myself reset (also I'm looking for a job, because it looks like the guy I trusted to always be there for me won't). At least he told me that I needed to not worry about camp expense.
I'm not looking forward to June. This is not the life I imagined for myself or for my kids.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
