Changing Times

[MamaB]

Yesterday was d10 soccer tournament, I was supposed to meet H and little D's up North to the games. When I got ready to go, my car would not start because the battery died. H dropped D10 and drove back down to get me.

We spent the day watching soccer we took the girls out to lunch. It was a lot like old times and the first we were together since affair discovery and our D's knowing about divorce. It was hard too, H is so much like old H of over a year ago. In my head I keep thinking about what he did, I look at his ringless hand and think about it touching another woman for over a year. I wonder if he is so happy because maybe he found a new woman. When I saw him texting, I wondered who he was texting. I said nothing, but in my head I was a little crazy.

He dropped me off and changed my battery (I miss that help!) and took the little D's to another city for the night. He got teary when he left because D17 will not see him and she was gettingready for prom. He asked if I would send a picture, which I did. Also he noticed that I packed all his clothes up (or rather, my mother did!) and I think that hit home for him. I don't really know what he expected, he has been planning this for a long time.

I'm trying to be open to him, but I'm not sure if that i the right thing or not. At the very least it can help with parenting. I do feel a little resentful that he sees them one weekend a month, and it is play time, while I do the main parenting by myself. But I do try to remind myself how lucky I am to have them so much

Sorry for the long post, it has been a confusing weekend.