I took a few days to think about your post and my possible response.

LFW put it beautifully: Are you mad at your husband for betraying you......Or are you truly mad at yourself for betraying yourself?

Don't make changes based on reactions to unmet expectations. Make them because they're in your best interest and help you get where you want to be.

This is hard stuff.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss