Forgiven lazy husband - reconcilliation possible?

[rayzzz]

Thanks so much for replying.
No I didnt do alot of things I knew would make her happy...I thought everything was "fine" and I had such selected listening...the only thing I did well and do is laundry, cleaning house, vacuuming...house stuff,make dinners...car duties was ok too.
I stayed home because my wife ended up getting a promotion at work to ft manager and so we switched roles to continue to homeschool our 6 & 8 yr old. In retro spective she took the ft job b/c I was just happy working p/t...an she did it begrudgingly but didnt say anything cause she was so used to picking up the slack...while seething inside of course.

Budget wise since my wife went ft, I took over the finances and taking responsibility with money made her feel less anxious about having to carry this but i blew it a couple times...we are a little behind now but I just finished Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover book and am hellbent on applying a budget.
In fact I just opened up a college fund to proves t my wife I am thinking about our future---the kids future and not just being frivolous

and yes looking for ft right now but we are both trying to figure this out with her working 6-5pm almost 6 days a week. She is so tired that she sleeps early and I look after the kids in the evening too ( which i dont mind of course...she is making a huge sacrifice) I just cringe when she says "you just coast all the time" though I understand where she is coming from

Yes i know this is a huge change of my worldview to be other centered and not a teenager and selfish. One of the best things this has awoken in me is that it "feels good to work and provide for my family" I know everyone should no that ! but i didnt and when i apply that to my p/t work I work harder and feel better. life lesson: you gotta live for more than just yourself to have meaning.

I loved saving your "180 tips" and yeah putting on my game face with sincerity for her...so yeah I am giving her lots of space cause she is so mad at me that she "cant trust me" because I didnt love her enough to give her security by just providing for her. I am aiming for being consistent as I work at getting work and showing her practical ways I can be her husband and take care of her. Thanks for letting me hear about the other side