4th Down And Getting A Little Anxious

[Georgiabelle]

BK,

Actually , I was friendly with h a few years before we started dating as we were involved with others. Then we were both single and I always thought he was funny. He spoke very fondly of his parents and usually spent Sunday afternoons with them. H was always closer to his mom. As his Dad's condition progressed, h became more and more rude and disrespectful to his father. We discussed it a few times and he told me he didn't like seeing his dad decline. I understand that's difficult. However, he's taken it to an all new level the last few years. It's really sad. Of course, h treats our oldest son deplorably as well. Why? H says he can't stand being around him because he reminds him so much of himself.

You asked something interesting BK. What insecurities did I have? I had an ED starting when I was around 7 - I was ahead of my time. Binge eater. Binge exerciser. Purger. Brief battle with anorexia. I was primarily bulimic. I was with someone for 7 years prior to h. He was a good guy and very good looking- he modeled for a time. I'm kind of granola. Sometimes x bf would try to *change * my look and I felt very insecure. Very insecure. Some days I thought I was the ugliest girl in the world. He actually always told me how attracted he was to me, but I thought I was the ugliest girl in the world.

By the time I was single at 29, I felt much more confident and at ease. This is very difficult to admit and I'm going to do it. When h and I started dating, I immediately liked his family. I think subconsciously I thought I was a better catch than h. I did not think I was better than him- I don't think about people in that context . Rather, I had my caca together and he did not. I think I've always carried that with me in our m. However, he was always very devoted to me do it never entered my mind that he would leave. It literally came out of nowhere. Looking back I do see little changes over the year leading up to this.