3B.....I have a deep question for you. I ask that you really think about it before you throw a juice box at the computer monitor.
Are you mad at your husband for betraying you......Or are you truly mad at yourself for betraying yourself?
Think about it for a few minutes before you answer that question.
This is my experience the last time I threw the ex out. While I let the ex back into my life, it was very much the desire of my daughter to do so. More than anything, I went against my boundaries to make her happy. I did not respect my boundaries, enforce my boundaries, or follow through with them. Things fell apart rather quickly......but the honest truth is I wasn't to angry with the ex. In reality I was angry with myself for not following through with my boundaries and defining what I wanted in life. I let others define how I was going to live....and because of that people (mainly the kids) got hurt.
If I had enforced my boundaries.....The ex wouldn't have moved back in as easy. Her behavior, which I do not control, would have been easier to quantitative....and I would have done a better job protecting the kids and myself.
So did you really lose sight of your boundaries? Have expectations? Make assumptions?.....and is that truly what has made you angry?
