4th Down And Getting A Little Anxious

[Georgiabelle]

Thanks everyone. I know I will be getting a 2x4 shortly so I will start with something I have been feeling first.

Anxiety. Not anxiety from "can I raise 3 kids without h?" anxiety. Anxiety about h's dad has Parkinson's. He is such a devoted father and h treats him horribly. H has said he a ) doesn't like to see his dad in this condition ( he's had it for over 28 years b) h is afraid he will get it and c) his dad annoys him by trying to help. When I tell to you h treats him horribly, I'm being generous by describing his treatment mildly. I had a dream about FIL progressing. Woke up as I felt horrible for FIL, MIL and my kids adore him. I took some deep breaths and realized I cannot control this.

Then my mind wandered. Will h give any thought to the type of people he brings around kids? We can call this mind reading, however I don't think in his current state h gives much thought to anyone but h. I'm very curious by nature. I was that kid who read encyclopedia's from cover to end back when they existed. Crack out 2X4s. What if something happened to me or h took kids to OW's family? I decided to google OW's family. She is from a small town ironically enough close to where I grew up. Her mom is a few years older than h and is an erotic short story writer with many scantily clad photos of herself on the web. The first pic the popped up was her in a white tank with no bra and her underwear. OW's dad is in his mid 80s and voluntarily relinquished his medical license for behaviors I won't name specifically. I decided to stop. Can't control it. Everyone's family has issues. I shouldn't have looked. But I did. Not my deal. More work on me to do.

My daughter gave me a foot massage and oldest s heated my rice bag for cramps. PMS time. For me, being very dim is best with h. Even though I see him a few days a week, I leave right when he arrives.

On another note, I had my will and trust finalized in a friend's office. I've known him for 20 years and he's like a brother. He said that I was glowing and looked gorgeous. Compliments are really nice. I have good kids, great friends, and wonderful family.