Forgiven lazy husband - reconcilliation possible?

[sandi2]

I will never forget reading that whenever a woman says anything twice, the man considers it nagging. But then the LBH complains his W didn't tell him iLoud enough, often enough, or n a way he could understand her. Go figure.

I can give you somewhat of a viewpoint of the WAW, and maybe tell you what most women like & don't like. I can probably tell you a lot of things not to do. I can't guarantee anything will work at this point. But I believe I can promise one thing......if you don't change the way you have always been.....and change for the rest of your life, you can kiss goodbye any hope of a future with her.

Are you ready to do whatever it takes to save your M and family, or are you wanting an easy solution to get her back.....and then you fall back into old behavior? I assure you there are no easy solutions at this point. By easy, I am referring to a lack of effort.

You referenced your laziness with not working full time. But what about in the other areas? How would you grade your role in the upkeep of the house, cars, and yards? You know, the things that are traditionally thought of as being what the man takes care of. Was your W always asking you to something around the place? Did she need your help with things?

What about your efforts in the relationship? How much effort did you put forth to do the things you KNEW would make her happier? You called yourself a "stay home dad". Yet I only see one preschool age child. Why did you stay home? Did you do all the work your W would do if you were on a job and she was the one staying home?

I know I am asking a lot of questions, but it is so we have a better picture.

Have you ever tried to learn how to budget......and stay on the budget? There is probably all kind of assistance on the Internet free of charge.

I can tell you this much, women will lose respect for a lazy man very quickly. I'm surprised your W endured this long. You need a plan of "action" to change yourself and get it going ASAP. She will have to see you in action and see that it won't stop, before she's convinced you are serious. I think it will take quite some time to earn her respect.

Are you working full time now?

I am glad you are in counseling! But I can understand that your W doesn't think she's the one with the problem and therefore, doesn't need to go.

Don't do anything that makes you appear needy/clingy/smothering/weak/begging. Trying to talk her into changing her mind won't work. You have to show her what a great catch you are. She will be watching.

I was like your W. I was so done with my H. It is very difficult to get the energy or interest to try again, when you feel you are dead inside.

Use this time wisely.