WAW...Again, Part II

[stumps]

You hedge a lot. That may work for you but it makes it difficult to figure out what's really happening.

So when you said this "if I accepted it would most likely kill any chance of saving my marriage" it sounds like, "if my W wouldn't find out about it, I'd be there."

What did you really mean?

What are your values?

Hmmm, didn't think about it like that... I definitely didn't mean it like "if W wouldn't find out I'd go". I guess at the worst, really thinking about what I said, what I meant was "if I was certain that W and I were finished, I would come visit." Although to be honest, I'm not even sure that I would under those circumstances because I've never been much of a casual sex kind of guy, and there reasons the x-gf is an x-gf. I guess what it boils down to though is it felt good to be desired by someone.

My values? Well... I don't know how well I can judge myself. But I can say that I've had opportunities to cheat during this marriage (not sure if this is what you're getting at or not) and have never been interested. Flattered maybe, but I've never been that type of guy. And quite frankly, literally up until the day my W said she wanted a divorce our sex life was great. Never had a cause to stray or want to stray from that perspective. Now of course it's non-existant. But there wasn't a slow decline or anything. We went from bunnies to monks in a day. Actually talked to W about that. She said that despite how unhappy she was with the other aspects of the marriage, that part of it was always good so that's what she held on to as long as she could even as everything else was falling apart.

I guess as far as my values go, and what W and I have talked about is openness and honesty, and if you can't be open and honest about something then you have an answer to the questions like "is this right?" "Is this ok?" "should I do this?"