That, my friend, is some seriously flawed thinking.
I have some questions...
Why did this old GF just suddenly pop up out of nowhere and invite you to her place for a tryst?
What is going in her life that warrants this?
Why would you violate your vows for a few moments of pleasure?
I guess I wouldn't say she popped out of nowhere. We remained friends after our breakup and were still friends when I met W. Everything above board with W's full knowledge. W is still friends with a couple of guys she used to date, and it's never been a problem for either one of us. I certainly was never interested in anything more than friendship with the ex-gf and she never seemed to be either.
At any rate, she moved out of state about a year ago and I hadn't talked to her since a few months before the bomb drop, but apparently she heard about my and W's sitch from a friend that she and W have in common (I have talked to very few people about what's going on, but W has been talking to anyone and everyone that will listen, not sure if that's entirely relevant but seemed noteworthy). So ex-gf called me, and the short version is she said she had heard what was up and extended an unambiguous invite to come visit.
I actually didn't quite know what to say, so I essentially said what I wrote here...that I was pretty sure if I made the trip it would be the end of my marriage for sure and that's not where I was yet even if W is.
H: 43 W: 37 M: 11 years T: 12 years S: 11 D: 8 ILYBINILWY, "I want to move out" and "I want a divorce": 3/23/14 MC started: 9/22/14 Affair and past infidelity discovered: 9/26/14 Piecing: 10/20/14
