Changing Times

[MamaB]

It has been such a weird time since I told H I knew about his affair. He and i have been in contact more now since before BD. I have expressed my hurt and anger to him for myself and for the kids. H has said how sorry he is and that he is remorseful. He uses the tearm self lothing quite often.

The good is that my H seems like my old H again. The bad is that I have lost some detachment and I spend so much time thinking about everything. I'm having a hard time trusting anything H says to me. The affair ended the same month he filed for D, that confuses me so much. They spent over a year getting to this point and when they do, they break up. They still work in same office, H says he communicates with her about 30 seconds a week. That is 30 seconds too long for me.

H is in town for the first time in 3 weeks and the first time since I found out. He has my little girls and I'm going to spend most of my day with them at D10 soccer tournament. I'm not going to miss it just because he is here, but it may be too much. I don't really know what he wants from me, and the hardest part is I have no idea anymore what I want. After this weekend, he will be gone again for at least three weeks, I intend to work on detaching again, and GAL.