This morning is Saturday. I found out the renewed contact in OW on Tuesday. I have only spoken maybe ten words to my husband since Monday, when we had our most recent marriage counseling session. And just a few short texts and my email announcing my attorney appointment since then.
After the counselor found out my husband has been in contact with OW and lied about it in their individual session, he said he won't see my husband individually anymore and doesn't want to bother with joint sessions till my H makes a BIG gesture that indicates that he's taking the marriage seriously.
I don't know what such a gesture would look like and it's probably too soon to even wonder. Reading another thread, sandi2 said that he has to go through withdrawal from OW (I'm assuming what goes for WAW goes for H too?) before he can be ready to tackle marriage. What does that look like? He won't be NC for as long as they both work at the same company and they both have excellent reasons for not leaving.
When I write these things about my H it makes it sound like he's a using, abusing, cheating, lying man, but I'm totally floored by this behavior. He has always been incredibly responsible and resourceful. I would have sworn I was his one and only. Counselor has a theory he's ADD (with cause, and my H agrees) and though understanding that might be helpful to other areas of our marriage, it doesn't explain the complete implosion of our home life.
But I think I'm thinking too much about all this. I'm trying out a new mantra: Today is the day he won't come back. And I'm going to try the thought-stopping practices recommended on the infidelity forum so I don't continue thinking about him. It's not easy. I'm a SAHM who has made his entire life possible -- caring for all of it while he just went back and forth to work and social engagements.
And the kids are wilting and I don't know what to do about it. A great deal of his absence is legitimate travel and he will be gone the entire month of June. I can't change that at all.
I can't even tell if I'm following DB or not. I'm at sea.
Why is this my life now?
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
