Thanks sage for the continuing wonderful advice..and Jemc you may want to start your own post?? My H and I have kids so we are in constant contact..With you being so far from him it is more challenging... Update..H is here all the time!! We ML again and he really hasn't brought up D thing..but I know it is still there and he keeps saying that is the path he will take.. I posted on Separated BB and got some great advice about the ML part..they all said YES!! keep the bedroom door open!! SO for right now we are going back to MC this week, I am not expecting miracles..but he does like his back rubbed everynight and he can't get that at the apt. now can he??