Upwards - Needing support, tough times ahead

[Upwards]

They don't feel very positive is it just me & the way i'm thinking?

He's always been in contact and interacted with both me & the kids, recently the contact is a LOT less than it was but I think that's because he's realised that he can do things for himself and doesn't need to lean on me. He is treating me with a lot more respect (most of the time) & noticing a lot about me and how much stronger I am etc, he's got remorse for how he's treated me & what he's done but then also a lot of guilt.

When we were NC that seems to be the time when he making most progress so I want to keep contact down to a minimum as I'm better then too - its my sons birthday this weekend so we'll be together a lot but then after that I'm going to go back to dark.

He's working very hard on himself, he's progressing in a positive direction & i'm very proud of him - I do think that he hasnt "let go" of our marriage and the past though, I think thats a huge part of whats keeping him where he is...

I suppose i'm tired of "standing", i'm tired of being the good little wife who's standing by her H even though he's treated her like dirt & has no interest in our marriage. I KNOW I deserve better than how he's treating me.