I was on the receiving end of the most severe pain your husband is feeling. It was a Mid Life crisis (excuse) with a university secretary/professor-boss thing. Anyway, there is an ideal tool out there for you to look into for helping your situation and giving your husband a way to let out his pain in a manageable macho way.
It's a healing program to teach not only how to forgive life’s pains in disillusioned relationships, but how to communicate through the healing process without hurting the relationship beyond a point of no return.
It's a catholic sponsored program called Retrouvaille. I'm not catholic and actually rather anti catholic. However, it's the best darn thing for relationships since prepared frozen foods.
Look it up on the internet and speak to your husband about attending a weekend program and be prepared for an intense series of relationship re-building. I can't say much more about the weekend, however, just being able to communicate; that "I'm really sorry from both of you" may be the ticket.
