Job, not understanding your question. My mediation is complete.. now I need to get it legalized. The mediator report is a general statement suggesting to seek ILA... thats not where I am at now.
letting go, detaching, dropping the rope, letting God.... I AM IN!!!
Yes, give up trying to control/manipulate the situation... I give UP!!!
Trying to turn the focus back on me & my DD, MY LIFE!!!
Good question ~~~ If "yet" never comes.... will look at that!!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Magic, I'm sorry if I am confusing you...I was under the impression that your mediation wasn't completed. I now understand why the questions about the lawyer. At some point, you will need to determine whether you feel it will be beneficial to you to seek the advice of your own lawyer or if this action can be done utilizing only the one lawyer for both clients. I have seen it done both ways...I know what I would do, but I'm not walking in your shoes.
Yes, my question is a good one and you really need to sit down and think about it for a while.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Annoyed these past few days....annoyed that I am within his arms reach, available when he choses. I do not like this position.
Yesterday, when he realized that his business deal may fall through, he offered to give me his $200G line of credit to put towards a house. I didn't jump at that statement like he probably expected. He probably expected me to say "ok, I will match the 200 & that way we can do what our mediator suggested". As that was my position (even 2 days ago). I didn't ask questions.
He then suggested to go view a friend of his place... its going on the market, private sale. Figured I could save $20-30G privately. I said that I would look at it, but just didn't think it was my style. Also, there is another friends house I could possibly live in (temporarily) until it sells.
I am not impressed with his "if" statements (non committal words, that string me along, give me hope and keep me at arms length).
Yesterday, when it was time to leave work I pretended that I was on the phone, making plans within his earshot, then I pulled out of the driveway in the opposite direction than home.
Yes, I realize that is game playing...but, I did so for myself. Not for his reaction... just to get myself away from his reach. I'm tired of him not appreciating my "there" position. Telling me "not now", the other day made me realize thats not good enough for me.
I am not an option, I AM A PRIZE!!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Magic, So, you don't like being in the position of "within his arms reach, available when he chooses". How do you propose to change that w/o playing games?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I guess initially to pull back for myself (game playing) until it becomes more of preserving my self-worth naturally.
I guess more focusing on myself..??? Not thinking/wondering/worrying what he thinks of me???
(could really use some input/suggestions here....anyone??)
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Magic, Actually you have answered your own question/suggestion...focus on yourself, drop the rope and not worry about what he thinks of you.
Don't play games...it will only bite you in the rump at some point. Be authentic in everything you do. Honesty is the best way to go.
If you need further input, I suggest that you go back and re-read your threads. There are a number of good suggestions/advice in those and they don't need to be rehashed again.
Ultimately, you have to decide what works best for YOU. Do you feel better about yourself when you put the focus on you and drop the rope? If you do, then you know what you need to practice on and become a success at it...live your life to the fullest. Happy, positive people attract people.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
So. It appears that his commercial property deal may fall out, but he is still going ahead to apply for his line if credit. He says because I may need the money to buy a house or some other investment may come up and he wants the opportunity to be ready/available.
Why did he bother to say to help me? (Hook?) Ugh!!! I didn't bother to respond with more than an "oh ya" position and comment. This is unlike me to not pursue the option of joint home ownership or to enquire about his intention. Blahhhhh
My friend told me this today: We judge ourselves by our Intentions not by our actions. But we judge others by their actions not their intentions.
I am constantly giving him credit for his intentions. He never has to prove his actions!! My mistake!!!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Magic, Haven't we all said many times that actions speak louder than words? This applies to what your business partner has been saying and not doing.
Your friend has given you a very wise saying to ponder. Print it off, put in somewhere to remind you of the difference between intentions and actions.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Been busy with friends & my daughter over the weekend.
Yesterday, we had an issue with a clients vehicle & we had intended on picking it up. I made myself available & waited.... and waited... at 5pm, he calls and suggested we leave now! I texted back that I now had drop in visitors. He was pretty insistent. I held my ground, nicely. He was unreasonable, wanting to go in ridiculous long weekend traffic. He was trying to bait me into an argument & guilt. He ended his text with "enjoy your evening, no need to respond"... clearly, trying to guilt that he was working & I was now having fun. I did not respond.
He fully expected me to "jump"... I did not! (however, I can see where I would have felt obligated, then guilty for not doing as requested. It was unreasonable, and everything is still on his schedule.
Today we left early to go to pick up client van out of town. Drove through country roads. Much nicer.
off to women's meeting soon.....MM
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
