I guess I don't want my wife to feel like I am totally there for her. She has hurt me deeply. She put her needs above her child's. But, I still love her and know that sometimes people make choices that are not always the best. I need to be absolutely sure that the A is over because I will not be yanked around anymore. I think the best thing to do right now is date each other. Date and keep it enjoyable because that's something we always did. One night a week we would get a babysitter and have alone time for us. In the last year I did many 180s: Making her feel special, listening to her, communicating how I felt, (trying) to be supportive about what she was going through. I think it worked because she still wants to make it work with us. I also think that I may have overdone it as she would says things like "you are seeing me through rose colored glasses" so I need to stop paying so much attention to her. That's a goal. Focus more on me and less on her. Focus on my daughter and less on her. I have to admit I gave up all of my power and independance after the bomb and am not going to give it up again - EVER. I know I'm rambling.....
