You gotta re-frame this. You're going to drive yourself nuts. I did, I even gave myself a bleeding ulcer.
Stop expecting rationality from a temporarily (hopefully) irrational person. Stop viewing, thinking and doing the same things expecting different results.
And please try to stop the forward viewing of who she WILL be...you dont know that. I will tell you from my experience, my W has slowly been re-integrating many of her pre-MLC good qualities and values. She's still different, and hopefully is resolving her issues, figuring out what she wants her life to like going forward. I don't know if I will be part of that life, or even want to be, but she is stabilizing, which is good for the kids.
This is 3 years out since she started hardcore replay/anger stage phase 2 in earnest. She has to process all her crap and decide what to do Matt. Best thing to do is stay out of the way, do NOT argue with her. She will see it as YOU being a judgmental, controlling, A$$hat.
How do I know this? That is what W called me more than a few times before I truly internalized, and ACCEPTED, that this was happening. And figured out how to get MY EGO reined in and under MY control.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
