3 Months In and Feeling...More Aware

[JennD]

H is here this weekend for his time with the girls. I'm really feeling the pressure to have plans. But i have none.

I've told H that when its his weekends with the girls - which happen here at our home as he is staying with friends - that I will be around - that I'm not necessarily leaving for the whole time. He is fine with that.

But in past weekend when he's been here, I;ve gone to yoga, pedicure, shopping, out with sister, etc.

I could do any of those but I feel so alone. I've join a bunch of meetup groups but everything they have scheduled for this weekend is sold-out or not geared towards me (ie 50 km bike ride, Coffee and discussion on meopause, etc)

I feel like a new kid in the school yard trying to make friends with no success. Mind you, I haven't actaully tried to engage others - I've have not gone out with any groups. They've had meetups that I'm interested in but its been on nights when H is not here and I've got the girls.

I've been a bit weepy over the last few days. I haven't been for a while but I guess its part of the cycling up and down that happens in this situation.

I've got to plan something this weekend - long weekend - and get back to a better PMA...