I'm in, Wife's Out - Pt. Two

[trc2009]

Long time no post. Update.

We're officially piecing. A few weeks ago W acknowledged that simply living under the same roof does not make a functional marriage. More or less saying that she didn't want the "roommate marriage." Which I told her before the separation ended that I will never be in a marriage where both parties are essentially roommates. So we're on the same page there and that was a huge step.

Affection has slowly come back. We're actually able to bump into each other without being uncomfortable, I can get close to her without her recoiling, etc. Still sleeping in separate beds and no sex. Those two things aren't big deals to me. We sleep better in different rooms. I've actually slept better in the last month than I have in years. So I guess that's a silver lining.

W is starting a new job which is a good thing for her and should be a very good thing for us financially. The only downside I can see is it being quite an adjustment for the kids since she's essentially been him with them full-time for the last four years. I'm sure we'll settle into a routine though and a couple months from now they'll be adjusted.

IC is over...for now. I'm sure I'll go back from time-to-time. It was very beneficial for me. I went 6 times. The first 2 or 3 were crazy eye-opening. I have a much deeper understand of how I deal with stressful issues and what I need to do to deal with them to avoid them boiling over. We talked about DBing! IC indicated that she thought I handled things pretty well with W during our separation.

We have been getting along great. What's been healthy is that we've had a few disagreements where we'd be on the verge of a fight but we both worked through it to a solution. 3-4 months ago, that wouldn't have happened. So that's an incredibly positive step.

We still aren't out of the woods. But to quote my wife, "we're in about as good of a place as we can be given where we were a few months ago." It's certain been and certain will continue to be a process.