LRT and 180 seem to be working...

[Pluto]

beach, I feel for you and have a pretty good idea of what you're going through. It's literally an emotional rollercoaster and you're likely swinging wildly between panic, shame, anger, and frustration at the lack of control in your sitch.

My only advice right now is to not do anything rash - and that includes ultimatums. Only make one if you're absolutely sure you can live with either of her choices - keeping in mind that she might not choose the option you prefer.

Having said that, boundaries are important and rather than issue it like a threat it would probably be better to just state it as what you're not willing to put up with - something along the lines of "W, as long as you're insistent on going through with W, I won't accept your hugs / cuddling in my bed." and tell her why/how it makes you feel.

Maybe some of the vets can chime in - I'm pretty new at this still.