Everyone, THANK YOU for your replies. As you know this is really tough and I wouldn't wish this upon anyone! I'm comforted that I have this support.
I agree with the responses, this is too soon to turn the tide - and possibly reconsider the R. I'm don't think it is a plan B response, as W is attractive and self employed... independent. Really, she can hold her own and meet people immediately.
I did reconsider meeting family, as our R is not their fault - and to be a strong man is to face the uncomfortable sit with dignity.
Budget constraints prevent me from engaging counseling directly, but if things improve its possible.
Challenge - Setting boundaries: The following day after my original post she also asked for a hug - which I complied. From everyone's advice I need to reestablish concrete boundaries - there has been NO discussion of reconsidering, and these 'good behaviors' are 'having your cake and eating it too'. After the weekend is up I will have a talk, explain why she cannot step into my personal space - the only question I have is:
Do I bring up the D and say you cannot do this unless you reconsider (ultimatum) or just mention I'm uncomfortable and confused?
I forgot to mention this before, but W was previously D. I think this makes it easier to give up.
Me: 43, W:42 M: 11 years T: 17 years Step S:22 Separated: 5/08/10 (came back 8 months later) Bomb Dropped: 04/12/14
