Feeling panicky tonight. I spent the entire day on the project of our stupid fridge. Turns out to be a bigger repair than its worth so off to three stores. Online and on the phone then back to two stores with s14. Chosen fridge doesnt fit so back to square 1. But the near-purchase had my heart palpitating. I have to bite the bullet because we have no food now. It will take 1/4 of whats left in my savings that i took when i started my own separate bank account two years ago. The roof leak repair next week will take another fourth of it. Im down to not very much. And that makes me so mad at H for leaving us.
I posted a bunch of stuff for sale on craigslist, and i really hope i have a job soon. I would rather figure this out and be ok on my own than have h come back. But im mad and im scared and i still have to buy a stupid fridge. And staying up all night just makes everything bleaker.
I guess you could say im more mad at me for getting myself in this mess. H is who he is and theres no point being mad at him for not being part of a loving two income household.
Itll be ok. Im going to charge the fridge and make sure i try harder to get a job lined up. I'm going to take care of myself by sleeping. I'm going to count my blessings and remember there are many worse off. H offered to pay for the whole roof repair but we are supposed to be equal on the house stuff so i think i should still pay half. Stupid leak, stupid fridge. It'll all work out i'm sure.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
