Trust me...you're not alone in feeling your way around the strange land of life after D. Especially with your 'first' GF. Ayep...red flags the size of the Sears Tower popped up and I ignored them too. All a part of the learning experience of wading back into the dating pool. In fact, I am glad that I dated this particular first GF for she revealed many aspects of me that I realized attracted her that were not what I wanted.
At that stage, I was pretty vulnerable, raw, and in pain after Ms. Wonka that I attracted this particular first GF to work on my chit post-D. The process revealed many aspects that made me wrinkle my nose and I "gave in" in to XGF way too much because I wasn't feeling too strong yet at that stage.
Now? I wouldn't date that particular XGF or someone like her at all. In post-D dating world, we are supposed to learn how to recognize these red flags and heed to the internal bells going off inside our heads/gut. Yep, we fumble during the beginning stages and then move on to other GFs with new self-awareness.
It DOES get better...it is so friggin' trite...but so true. I survived the 'first' break up with this XGF and it took me about 3 to 4 months of "chemical withdrawal" to get her out of my system. Mind you, I wasn't ever 'in love' with XGF. But boy...that dopamine operated just the same as an affair.
Funny, this XGF and I do talk nowadays occasionally and I've noticed that she has this trait which makes me smile inwardly in a knowing fashion. This XGF sometimes will say or act in certain ways to "test" my reaction to her. I don't at all. My reaction has been as nonreactive as an immovable rock. She knows this and it does annoy her a bit. Ah well. Not any of my concern at all.
