Rebel without a clue

[prometheus]

Thanks for posting Thornton. I welcome your input. It has been difficult for me to find a way to stand my ground that does not involve conflict of some kind. Having said that, what you have outlined is pretty much what i have been trying to live up to.

I have simply been staying put, minding my own business, taking care of me (and the kids as needed). I have plenty of things to take up my time; formal part time study, full time job + overtime, regular exercise, connecting with friends and family, repairing and maintaining the three older Audis that i have acquired, making music with friends, family and associates, surfing, skipping, yard maintenance,,,. I have no time to brood and mope.

All of those things ^^^ are making it easier to drop the rope. I won't declare that i have dropped it completly but i have been getting better and better in that regard. What i *do* have trouble with(dropping rope related) is staying on an even keel in those rare moments when W will interact with me on a friendly level. I tend to get over enthusiastic and think that my wife is thawing a little. I end up being distracted from running my own race and begin focussing on my W again.


I hear what you are saying re telling my wife what i prefer. It was poorly worded. Perhaps i should have just told her i was not moving out and left it at that. I *did* want to validate her feelings by saying i wanted her to be happy, but in the process included my own feelings/desire/preference. That is a mistake that i need to stop making.

Prefer, to me, is not a very strong word and was meant to convey a mild form of ambivalence. I mean, the world is not going to come to an end if i don't get what i prefer....lol...i rarely do as a rule! In my mind i was trying to convey the notion that i would be OK no matter what course of action my wife chooses to take. And this is the truth! My wife has already left me even if we are still residing in the same house. If she leaves then i *am* OK with that. Can't keep a bird in a cage and call it free...

I still have no plan for me... <----there is my bigger fish to fry right there.